You Can Do It! Raising Confident Children

Kids face challenges every day, and as parents, we want them to have the confidence to handle them on their own. It’s easy to jump in and try to help with everything so that things get done “right” the first time. But teaching a positive self-concept isn’t something that we can do for them, on their behalf. It’s something we can only cultivate in our children by letting them try things on their own. Kids who learn by doing, even if the process involves a struggle, often discover a new quality about themselves that will boost their confidence and prepare them for future challenges.

To help your kids grow into independent, competent young adults, try giving them to freedom to try:

• Let kids dress themselves, even if the colors don’t coordinate.
• Encourage kids to zip their own coats and put on their own mittens without your help.
• Allow them to order their own meal at a restaurant.
• Let them to settle their own disputes with friends or siblings.
• Allow them to pay for their own items at the store, counting change and all.
• Encourage them to call to make their own phone calls to invite a friend over or ask a question.
• Allow your child to choose activities or games to play, and then participate with them.
• Encourage them to approach the teacher and address issues if they have a problem with another student or question a grade or discipline action.
• Expect them to answer questions from adults instead of answering for them.

It’s not about refusing to do things for your kids; it’s about helping them see that they do have the ability to do things for themselves! When they learn this, they will grow stronger and more confident, and even better, they can genuinely take pride in their own accomplishments!