Positive Parenting:  Even When There is Conflict in the Classroom

Positive Parenting: Even When There is Conflict in the Classroom

Sometimes, there are problems on the “home front”.  As a parent, we are the role model, the disciplinarian, the encourager, the provider and emotional support our children need.  But, what happens when there is trouble at school… or with teachers?  We are still all those things, we just have to handle situations differently than if we were at home.

If an issue comes up that our child cannot handle, we need to step in and approach the teacher – this can be intimidating, especially if you have lingering feelings of intimidation from your own childhood.  Here are a few tips on how to remain a positive parent in the classroom:

BE AN INVESTIGATOR

When visiting your child’s classroom for new problems or unresolved issues, be an investigator.  There are always two sides of every story and school happenings are no exception.  Instead of storming into a teacher’s room with preconceived concepts or an attitude, go in to collect information that you may not know.

Foster Cline & Jim Fay suggest there are three mistakes parents commonly make:

  1. We tell the teacher what to do.
  2. We go into the school with threats.
  3. We muster an army of like-minded parents to assault the teacher en-masse.

Common sense may tell us those would be mistakes, but sometimes not so positive decisions are made when our children are in trouble or in danger.  So, now we know what mistakes NOT to make – what is a tactic that will earn us straight “A’s”?

BE A DESCRIBER

Because you may not know the “whole story”, you really can’t “tell” the teacher what the problem is… instead of using the word “telling”, use the word “describing”.  Asking for a teacher’s thoughts is a wonderful approach to keeping the calm in a not so calm situation.

The main reason for reaching out to a teacher is to discuss our child’s problem and see if a solution can be reached.  If the principal needs to be approached, ask the teacher to be involved so he/she is a part of the solution, not the problem.

“…talk as well as listen, to suggest as well as take suggestions.  Communication and respect for others are much more effective than commands and threats.”

Have you had a situation where you had to intervene with a teacher?

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Quotes: Foster Cline & Jim Fay, Parenting with Love & Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility

Kathy Jenkins is the President of Come To Order, a residential professional organizing company in Richmond, VA.  As a Certified Professional Organizer®, Certified Family Manager® Coach, Love & Logic Parenting® Facilitator/Coach and Student Organizer, Kathy especially enjoys working with kids and their families to help them learn good organizational skills that will benefit them for a lifetime.  To learn more about Love & Logic Parenting, follow Kathy on Facebook.


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